The Top 10 Things That Make It Hard To Get Sober
A list written by a mom friend at the start of her sober journey
The Top 10 Things That Make It Hard to Get Sober:
1. Denial that you don't have a problem because there are people that are way worse off than you.
2. Forever feels like a really long time and feels daunting.
3. What will your friends and family think?
4. What will you do at holidays or social gatherings?
5. What about fine dining? Wine with meals?
6. What will you do when you have a super shitty day?
7. What if I have too many inhibitions now that I don't have any liquid courage?
I don't think I have any more numbers. Honestly, the biggest issues are that forever feels so daunting and denial that it's time to stop because you are not nearly as bad as some other people. The Sober Diaries felt like it was written for me. It addressed every worry I knew I had and even those that I didn't realize I had.
So there you have it.
The first thing I wanted to do when this arrived in my inbox yesterday was to fix. Place a cool rag on a fevered forehead. Explain away these fears using intellect, science, chemistry and lived experience. Reflecting this morning, I’m wondering if there’s a different medicine being asked for here — one that honors the complexity and breadth of the wound.
When I present someone with a problem, the biggest turn-off for me is when they immediately try to solve it. Well, you could just do this and try Neosporin and Band-Aid, and voila. But then you miss the pre-surgery prep. The forehead to forehead I see you. This is hard. You’re not wrong. You’re right on track. You’re doing an incredible job. You’re doing everything right. This is fucking hard, mama. I’ve been there, too. I know you can do it.
I.
See.
You.
Sometimes, you just need someone to hold your hand and sit beside you through the nitty gritty. Without words. Without actionable items. To dig deep into the repository of their own memory, place the correct slide in the projector and squeeze at just the right clip.
My friend’s list is so fresh and so raw and so real. Number ONE being THE biggest barrier to entry (I think most of us out there would agree). I plan to publish a series not addressing but RE-dressing each one. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s installation!
*NOTE* If you enjoy the work happening in this space, please consider becoming a paid subscriber! Even a monthly subscription can make a huge difference! THANK YOU LOVE YOU!
^^Original Artwork.
Sometimes it can be hard to look at ourselves. Ask honest questions. And give honest answers. These are hard things to admit. I’m so beyond proud of my friend for not flinching. And of all you out there doing the same.
Love,
Rosie