The Sober Scientist: Weekly Discovery Report
Field notes, failed experiments and other key implements for transformation
Notes From The Field:
Conditions: As Annotated By ObserverOne (experimenter)
Date: Thursday, November 21, 2024
Time: 9:00 am CST
Location: Wild Sobriety Lab (i.e. every sober curious kitchen counter throughout the country)
Weather (Inner + Outer): Partly cloudy: steadily increasing chance of precipitation.
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Observer 1’s Temperature: Hot, Bothered, Edgy, On the Verge of Apocolypse
Observations:
Automated daily reminder flashes across lock screen at precisely 9:00 am.
Copied and pasted cutout of feel-good message from VariableA (Harry Styles’ prettier stepbrother) at precisely 12:59 am on September 26.
Reads as follows:
This ^message^ marks the end of correspondence between ObserverOne and VariableA, indicating that the subject was either intoxicated or high at the time of transmission. And did not intend to press send. Nor had any intention to follow up. Not that ObserverOne has given this any consideration.
Being part scientist, part soft, highly emotive animal, OberverOne desired to capture VariableA’s sentiment, mainly to scale the physical sensations elicited upon original inspection.
Initial visceral response was as follows:
warm “joy-bloom” in lower torso.
Oxytocin + Dopamine envelopes delivered to midbrain mailboxes.
This daily reminder had pleasing results for most of the first month. However, this Thanksgiving marks a year since OberverOne’s last visit to VeriableA’s Headquarters (Des Moines). And nostalgia, in this case, doeth ObserverOne zeroith favors.
The Proof Is In The Petri (Dish): Potential For Failure
Due to increased levels of nostalgia (given historical context) as well as depleted dopamine stores resulting from Celibacy vows and dating app deletions, Automated Daily Reminder, on the morning of Tuesday, Nov 21, 2024, roused a familiar itch upon ObserverOne’s OFC (orbitofrontal cortex or “pleasure processor”).
An old story slotted into her vintage Viewfinder:
You need a man in order to feel good
You need a man to survive
You need a man to live a successful life on earth.
Time is running out. Six pack disappearing. Double chin immanent.
Quick. Run.
This antiquated but deeply engrained story induced a panic response that pumped cortisol and adrenaline throughout ObserverOne’s body. Thus intensifying her need to:
scratch the itch,
immediately escape the discomfort,
at least apply inter-cranial cortisol cream.
Alas, Itchy, Scratchy, and Speedy Gonzales were artificial balms that no longer presented as possible solutions. So, what interventions WERE available?
Hypothesis:
If we disrupt familiar behavior (reaching for technology or male attention when old stories stoke the psyche) with healthier nervous system-regulating techniques, will ObserverOne be able to avoid *relapse (returning to undesired behavior)*, improve emotional resilience, and build new neural networks based on these interventions?
Experiment/Intervention:
Tool: Phone A Friend
Purpose: Shame, isolation, and guilt extraction.
Secrets and isolation breed dis-ease.
Benefits:
Connection releases Oxytocin.
Speaking your truth activates your throat chakra (even if it’s through your fingertips), which encourages high vibrational energy flow.
Interrupting the behavioral pattern with a new actionable item initiates the formation of new neural networks: NEW PATHWAYS TO BETTER PLACES!
Method:
1. Open tex app
2. Copy and paste:
Hey _______ I’m really struggling to not ______ right now. Can you please remind me that it’s not a good idea? And why? Thank you so so much! I’d love to return the favor someday if you find yourself in a sticky spot!
3. Hit “Send”
4. While you’re waiting, put on a song you love to dance to, spin around, jump, shake your flippin tailfeathers. Want to know why somatic release helps? Have you ever seen ducks full-body-shake after a fight? That’s their natural process for shedding adrenaline and cortisol, the “stress hormones” active in fight or flight responses. In the animal kingdom, this type of somatic breakdance is known as a "displacement activity" or a "reset response.” Guess what? You can do it too! Right now, if you damn well please!
Metric:
Number of days without male attention— Was ObserverOne able to refrain from irritating behavior (reaching out to VariableA) for Day 38 of the challenge?
Result:
Why Yes. Yes, she was.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
What are your favorite weekly Substack publications? What do you love most about them?
What are you looking for in a Newsletter about Sobriety?! References? What I’m reading now? More helpful somatic tips?
What are you curious about? What would you love to see more content about? Creativity? Amicable Divorce? CoParenting? Mothering while Chasing Dreams? Building a life on Authenticity? Fashion? Public Speaking? Book Writing?
Dear Friend,
Thank you for being here. Your readership means everything to me.
Rosie
P.S. If these field notes, anecdotes and essays have helped you along your journey, please consider upgrading your subscription to help me continue doing what I love most: writing and creating content in service of collective transformation. Every upgrade helps! Thank you!
READY TO GO DEEPER WITH THIS WORK?!
Join My Weekly Writer’s Workshop! (in the process of Rebranding!)
The cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien says that “throats and bones” are the oldest instruments we have. This was my inspiration for our new name and look!
The new workshop will be OPEN TO ALL including men!
Starting in January, we will be working through the book “Writing Down The Bones” by Natalie Goldberg as a springboard for prompt and technique!
We meet every Wednesday at 7:00 PM CST!!!