Life is a stressball. My kid is getting called spoiled at school. We had a conference with her teacher yesterday. I don’t even really know what spoiled means. Past expiration? That can’t be right.
She’s tattling on the older kids when they cuss. It’s pissing them off. I get it. She’s not listening. Not doing her work. Frustrated because she’s seven and can’t read yet. Both my girls have dyslexia and dysgraphia. Dyslexia is when reading is hard. Dysgraphia is when writing’s hard, too.
I read a book on dyslexia a few years back. It said that the impairment, the learning disorder, was nothing of the sort. The people who have it are wired differently; they are the fearless explorers who lead tribes to fertile new territory; they are the risk takers, inventors, and magic makers; the world would be boring and bereft without them.
They are only impaired according to the laws of man. I’ve felt that way my whole life.
Things get better when you fuck the man and live according to the Laws of The Sacred. Which are the laws defined by YOU. Sound scary? Good. Put your nose down. Follow the scent.
I get sad over her. That there’s nothing I can do to quicken the ascent. Make her life easier. When the gold standard, even at a school designed for her kind, is reading and writing. And don’t get me started on math.
She’s so damn smart she gets bored and acts up. She’s so full of life force her body spits fire. Unable to contain her capability.
I’m not pleading with you so much as I’m pleading with myself:
Your kid isn’t bad. There’s no such thing. That’s the world you used to live in. Not the one you’re creating. You’re not a bad parent. Enough. This isn’t about you. There’s a lesson here. Pay attention. Ask her what she needs. Wait for answers. Listen to them. Even if they’re silent.
Wow I connected to this so much. I always felt like I wasn’t smart enough because I am wired differently. Like the man’s rules are so generalized and have no connection to the way I WANT to live my life and I wish I could have been supported for my truest self. You are such a phenomenal mother for recognizing this and trying to find ways to help keep your daughters supported through the black and white rules of society.
I have a daughter almost exactly like yours. She is 32 years old now. When she was young, I often thought it wasn't easy to be her mom but I also knew she is exactly who I wanted her to be, herself, and I so wanted her to maintain that spirit into the teenage years! She did! xo